Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
