so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Randomize
