just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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