uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
