angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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