Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
