apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
