You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize