Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
no you cant smoke seaweed
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
