The panties match.
I'll be right there.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
