Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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