i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
