Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
