I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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