i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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