So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
