How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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