New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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