Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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