Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
they're like a gay fantastic four
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
As shirtless as possible
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
