we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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