dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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