Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
