Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
