girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
