Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm just crazy horny about you
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
