i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
