the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
