He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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