Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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