: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He passed out mid-signature
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
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