Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Life is so much better after having sex.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
