is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
