just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
