haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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