I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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