I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
