I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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