You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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