i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
