you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
