Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
