I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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