lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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