Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
