you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
