You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
