i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
