so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
