Betty ford says i'm here all night
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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