Come see our sink grown plant.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize