it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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