I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
