I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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