I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
