If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
