if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
