Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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