Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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