Say something about gay babies.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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