I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
