Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
