ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I need to calm my uterus...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
